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2022 Blog Poll Week 11 — Just when you think the ACC is not cold barbecue served in a dirty ashtray

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Just when you think you can trust them, the ACC reaffirms all those old stereotypes

The recursive predictive mediocrity of the ACC. I’ve written about it before.

Recursive derpiness.
Overranked ball clubs.
College football’s ultimate Peter Principle — squads promoted well beyond their demonstrable level of competence.
The PAC 12 with lacrosse and a dip of chaw.
The Big 12 with trees and better SAT scores.

Every year we fall for it, and we’ll do so again next year — no matter how despicable the product. Bet on it.

And, yes, we did it again. Even I fell prey to thinking that my eyes were deceiving me. That maybe there was quality football played in the Eastern Time Zone (excepting UGA and occasionally Tennessee and Penn State.) I was wrong, so very very wrong.

Blech.

That’s about all you can say for the tentpole wins for the ACC’s standard-bearer, Clemson. Sitting at 9-1, much ballyhooed games against NC State, Wake Forest, Luhvl, and Florida State have grown less impressive by the week — not a single one of those programs has fewer than three losses, two of them have four. The other 9-1 team, UNC, has the 6th worst schedule among all Power 5 programs: It’s Pac 12 bad…and Clemson’s isn’t much better.

The worst part about this? One of these teams will howl about being a playoff-level club for the next three weeks. Let’s hope this time no one listens.

Without further ado, here is the Week 11 Blog Poll; a few very brief remarks follow. Usual caveats: The criteria are nebulous, far-ranging, and capricious — strength of schedule, bad and good coaching, injuries, exigent circumstances, home/away results, defense or lack thereof, offense or lack thereof, line play, power poll-ishness, can you cover a spread (Vegas is pretty smart about how good a team is), head-to-head where possible or prudent, and my own lying eyeballs.

Remember to address all poorly-spelled death threats, crayon-scrawled imprecations against my mother, anatomically-questionable propositions, and grammatically-disastrous emails to: [email protected] Just remember that the public library closes at 7:00.

SEC — I don’t want to live in a world where Kirby wins back-to-back titles. I fear I will. If Tennessee could play worth a shit away from home consistently, I’d like their offense. But, newp. Clown air raid gonna get bullied. Alabama is beloved by the analytics (3rd overall); far less in my eyes. But still, this is a Top 10 team — LSU derps its way to Atlanta where it shall lose by four touchdowns. At least.

P12 — Dan Lanning cost the PAC12 an actual shot at the playoff. Mario Cristobal is more conservative than a Spanish Royalist, but he wouldn’t have lost that game with that call. Utah is playing quietly well enough to beat anyone. USC is still a wet paper napkin. They’re gonna get rolled by someone, or more than one someone before year’s end. Chip Kelly cost me the 10th leg of a 10-game parlay. The less said about getting blown out at home by Arizona, the better. Though, the USC-UCLA game this week should be entertaining for the first time in about a decade.

The ACC — Cold barbecue served up in a dirty ashtray and washed down with a lukewarm beer can full of cigarette butts. If you’ve been there, you know exactly what I mean. If you’ve not, then just watch an ACC game. Any one of them. Live dangerously.

Indies / G5 — Bet Notre Dame regrets that Marshall game more every day. Why is no one talking about the actual two best teams in the SBC — Troy and South Alabama? ‘Bama fatigue is real, huh? Does anyone actually think Cincy is any good? UCF is going to ass-blast them in the AACCG. Waiting in the wings is Tulane, who lost their shot, but it’s still a high quality team. If UCF chokes to Navy or in the USF rivalry, they’ll smack around Cincinnati for us. UTSA is the quietest 8-2 team in America, their defense is why. They should be 10-0.

B12 — No one wants to play TCU in the B12CG. I’m not sure what the committee is whatching, but it’s not actual Frogs games. This team has won with defense, offense, on the road, at home, in blowouts, in squeakers. Sonny Dykes is swinging a three-foot hog around in Fort Worth for a reason.

B1G — Just when we thought the West was competent, we get Illinois in a three-game losing streak to some blah teams, surging Minnesota who no one trusts, and Iowa direly trying to back their way into the ceremonial slaughter in Indianapolis. Watch: It’ll happen too. Anyone think that Michigan may be the better team in the East again this year? Me too. Corum has to be relishing a shot at that nougaty- soft Buckeyes interior.

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